An Unforgettable Day

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Girls should not be sacrificed for her family’s economic salvation, poverty being a driver of child marriage. Let a girl be a girl. And let a woman’s wedding day be unforgettable for the right reasons, with tears shed for joy to celebrate beginnings, not for sorrow to mourn endings.

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7 things you might not know about child marriage

After learning about the illegality of child marriage through life-skills education provided by the UNFPA-supported Kishori Resource Center in her community in Jamalpur District, Tahiya (right) was able to help stop the marriage of her high school classmate Shila (left). © UNFPA Bangladesh/Prince Naymuzzaman

07 February 2023

Not Your Happily Ever After

01 Feb 2021

No more fairy tales. No more false promises. It’s time for girls to write their own stories.

February is a busy month for florists and jewelers; it is also a busy month for advocates working to end two rituals that spell the end of childhood for girls around the world: child marriage and female genital mutilation. Adisa, from Sarajevo, shows jewelry she was given by her in-laws after she was married at 14. Freshta (name changed), in Afghanistan, shows the dress she wore when her father forced her to marry a 60-year-old man. She was 12 at the time.

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Female genital mutilation and child marriage often go hand in hand. In many communities, female genital mutilation is seen as a rite of passage that makes girls marriageable. In Sierra Leone, Fatmata refused to be cut and was forced to flee town. Today she is a leader for change. “We have the right to say no, even if we are children,” she says.

“They have the power to choose.”

This Valentine’s Day, women and girls are calling for a new romantic vision, one where, as Mimah says, “they are in charge of their own lives.” Mimah lives in Marawi in the Philippines and was married at age 17. Today, at a UNFPA women-friendly space, she counsels others to reject child marriage.

Girls like Chinara in Tbilisi, Georgia, are chasing their dreams instead of living a nightmare parents choose for them: “My life is not theirs to decide.” She escaped early marriage once at 14 and again at 17 and wants to enroll in a police academy then law school. “I prefer to take time and make my own steps.”

Fairy godmothers may be the stuff of fairytales, but girls in the real world need someone on their side, too. Through a UNFPA-run safe space, Fethiye, an Iraqi teen refugee living in Eskehir, Turkey, was able to access education. “They convinced [my family] that I should go to school without being a wife.” She is finishing secondary school and made friends. “I have gained my self-confidence back.”

“A girl is not your property.”

At 14, Ana Kabi walked more than 20 kilometres from her village in Como, Guinea-Bissau, to Cátio to escape early marriage. She found refuge in a UNFPA-supported evangelical church and has been there ever since, counselling other girls also changing their narratives. At 27, she is in ninth grade with dreams of becoming a doctor and having a family. Pictured: Ana Kabi and Zaida Na N'fad, 16, the youngest girl in the shelter.

@UNFPA Guinea-Bissau/Aleke Ogbada Júnior

Communities can and are embracing these changes and helping girls rise up. In Kenya, women who used to perform female genital mutilation are abandoning the practice and supporting alternative rites of passage.

“My future is not in your hands.”

Sometimes there are no happy endings. In exchange for money, Zahra (name changed), in Iraq, was wed to a cousin when she was 13, then became a mother at 14. “I was left with a husband and child while I was one myself.” She suffered domestic abuse, then her husband divorced her, taking their three children. She hasn’t seen them in years. “Early marriage,” she says, “is rape with official papers.”

Image courtesy of Un Ponte Per

Even if they are not knights in shining armor, men and boys can still stand up for girls. After enrolling in a life skills programme, then-13-year-old Iqbal pleaded with his parents not to marry off his 15-year-old sister in Cox’s Bazar, Bangladesh. “Child marriage,” he says, “is a curse for boys and girls.” And in Egypt, Father Mekarios is helping the community abandon female genital mutilation.

"A girl is not yours to give away."

Some little girls dream of their wedding day – not of marrying against their will. In collaboration with UNFPA, Ireland-based designer Natalie B. Coleman created a wedding dress depicting the female reproductive system, accented with red petals that symbolize the horrors of female genital mutilation and child marriage. It highlights “the urgency of promoting women's and girls' right to agency over their bodies,” she says.

“Not yours to deny education.”

Concern over these issues is growing. Globally, more 200 million girls and women have experienced female genital mutilation, and 1 in 5 girls is married by age 18. Bindu, in Nepal, was married off at age 17. Today, she is an elected leader and a strong opponent of child marriage.

COVID-19 is making things worse. Some 11 million girls are at high risk of never returning to school, increasing their vulnerability to both harmful practices. The UNFPA and UNICEF joint programmes to eliminate female genital mutilation and end child marriage are calling for leaders to urgently protect and empower girls. Pictured: A tool for performing female genital mutilation in Kenya. Dowry items for a child marriage in Nepal. A child bride’s makeup in Afghanistan.

Cutting tool © UNFPA/Luis Tato; dowry items © UNFPA Nepal/Santosh Chhetri; makeup © UNFPA Afghanistan

Still, there is reason to hope these harmful practices will go from "once upon a time" to "never again." Around the world, girls are demanding their own happy endings: ones where they can grow up, get an education and choose their own futures. Pictured: In Sarajevo, two former child brides, who say they want more for their daughters. Girls in the Dominican Republic, where child marriage has just been banned.

Saying #IDONT to child marriage

01 Feb 2019

Every day, tens of thousands of girls become child brides. Child marriage violates their rights, threatens their health and darkens their futures. But when girls are empowered to fight back – to refuse or escape child marriage – the sky is the limit. This Valentine’s Day, we explore what happens when girls say “I don’t”.

Globally, one in every five girls is married off before age 18.

But girls like Kakenya Ntaiya are rejecting this practice. “I grew up in rural Kenya. The traditional way of life for girls was to undergo female genital mutilation in preparation for marriage at a young age,” she told UNFPA. “I escaped child marriage and fought for my education.” She went on to establish Kakenya's Dream, a nonprofit organization that uses education to empower girls and transform rural communities.

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Image courtesy of Kakenya’s Dream

girls like Kakenya Ntaiya are rejecting this practice

Child brides often drop out of school. But educating girls can break the cycle of poverty.

In Iraq, Elaf had two teenage sisters drop out of school after marrying. “Both sisters wish they had not married at an early age,” she said. “My dream was being a pharmacist, so when my father decided that I should get married at age 15, I refused.” Now 26, Elaf is a pharmacy student.

Image courtesy of IHAO

Young brides often become pregnant while still adolescents. And unmarried girls who find themselves pregnant are often pressured to marry.

This was Poni Helen’s experience in South Sudan. “My parents wanted me to marry when I got pregnant at 16. I defied them because I wanted to finish school. But they did not support me, so I worked and sent myself to school. Now, I am 23 and taking up law while raising my six-year-old son.”

Adolescent pregnancy increases the risk of pregnancy complications. Having one’s dreams shattered takes a toll, too.

“My mother got married quite early in life, and though she completed her higher education she was not permitted to work after marriage,” said Farah Faizah in Bangladesh. “This left a lasting impact on her mental and physical well-being.” Today, Ms. Faizah works for the United Nations. “If I was married early, I don’t think I could have gotten the same opportunities.”

Yet families often resort to child marriage because they see it as a girl’s only option – a belief fuelled by poverty, insecurity and gender inequality.

“In my home town, many girls are forced into early marriage. Their parents tend to think that girls have no future if they do not marry,” Hayat Outemma told UNFPA in Morocco. “I am very lucky I could finish school. I am now a teacher and a social activist, working to change mindsets about girls’ education and child marriage.”

Image courtesy of Hayat Outemma

Yet families often resort to child marriage because they see it as a girl’s only option – a belief fuelled by poverty, insecurity and gender inequality.

The girls involved in these marriages are extremely vulnerable. They may be exposed to violence, and are often unable to advocate for their needs and rights.

“At age 15, I dropped out of school to get married to an army sergeant who was 20 years older than me,” said Chipasha, now a girls’ advocate in Zambia. “My husband abused me... even when I was pregnant with his child.” But then she began visiting a safe space supported by the UNFPA-UNICEF Global Programme to End Child Marriage. “With the help of our mentor, I finally moved out of my abusive marriage, together with my baby.”

Child marriages take place all over the world, across a wide range of communities and religions.

Jada, who was born and raised in the United States, was threatened with forced child marriage at the age of 12. She sought help from the rights group the Tahirih Justice Center, and found safety in the home of a relative. “I have accomplished amazing things not having married early,” said Jada, now 17. “I followed my dreams of being a dancer.”

Image courtesy of Jada Martinez

Child marriages take place all over the world, across a wide range of communities and religions.

But when girls know their rights, they can stand up for themselves.

In Georgia, Chinara Kojaeva’s parents tried to marry her off at age 15. “I contacted police, and later my parents promised me they would allow me to receive an education and not marry me off until I turned 18.” But when she was 17, they again tried to force her to marry. She told authorities, and then moved into a shelter. There, she is attending classes and learning to paint and box. “I started new life here,” she said.

The UNFPA-UNICEF Global Programme is reaching millions of girls and community members with information and services to end child marriage.

“Growing up, I never realized that so many girls are denied education and forced to marry early. I was fortunate to get an education that opened doors for me,” said Marie-Claude Bibeau, Canada’s Minister of International Development. The Government of Canada is a major supporter of the Global Programme. “We must all work tirelessly to help girls and young women overcome barriers to their rights and development, so they can reach their full potential.”

Image courtesy of Global Affairs Canada

The UNFPA-UNICEF Global Programme is reaching millions of girls and community members with information and services to end child marriage.

Still, child marriage is not declining fast enough. If efforts to end child marriage are not accelerated, over 150 million more girls will marry by 2030.

“Ninety per cent of my high school friends got married while being teenagers,” Roceli Dzib García told UNFPA in Mexico. “I have been able to continue my college education thanks to my mother’s support.”

For those who do escape child marriage, a lifetime of opportunity awaits.

“I’ve seen married young girls leading an unhappy life,” said Rukaiyah, in Indonesia. She endured years of ridicule when she refused to marry young. “I turned a deaf ear when friends mocked me, calling me ‘old virgin’.” Instead, she poured her energy into supporting women’s rights and building her own chip-making business. Today, she has a large staff and a happy family. “I believe that women need to be able to develop their talents and seize every opportunity for their future,” she said.

An Unforgettable Day

7 things you might not know about child marriage

Voices of child brides around the world